Hey guys! I’m back after a bit of a hiatus. I missed blogging, but my life is pretty crazy these days. I have a few weeks off from school, so I wanted to take some time to talk to you about a topic that I haven’t addressed – pride. I have written several blogs about narcissists and their pride, but I haven’t written a blog dedicated solely to pride and the differences between healthy and unhealthy pride. Before we get to the nitty-gritty licensed therapist, but I am a researcher ( I only post information from reliable sources) and these are my findings
I believe that we are all familiar with the saying, “Pride goeth before the fall.” Growing up, I would hear church sermons about pride being a bad thing and leads to self-destruction and separated man from God. No worries! I am not going to preach a sermon about pride, but I will enlighten you with helpful information to help you distinguish between unhealthy and healthy pride.
In layman’s terms, pride is the feeling of being worthy or good. In essence, it means to be proud. Healthy pride is self-confidence, an intrinsic motivation that propels one to believe in themselves to accomplish goals, have a winning attitude, and believe in their successes. Healthy pride is an inside job for individuals who authentically believe in themselves and their abilities. They don’t require outside validation to feel proud. People with healthy pride believe in themselves and can easily internalize their individual triumphs.
Unlike people with healthy pride, individuals with unhealthy pride can’t internalize their personal triumphs and must constantly prove themselves to others as well as themselves. This need for approval is deep-rooted in self-doubt and feeling of shame. Like most issues, unhealthy pride stems from childhood experiences where the individual did not feel loved for who they are by their parents/caregivers but for how well they performed.
Extrinsic rewards and validation mostly drive individuals with unhealthy pride. They have to prove their success not only to themselves but to others as well. Because these types of individuals often overcompensate, they come off as cocky or bull-headedly confident in their skills and abilities, which is also known as “narcissistic injury.” Narcissistic injury is when a narcissist perceives a threat to their self-esteem or worth.
Unlike healthy pride, individuals with unhealthy pride tend to overvalue their abilities and accomplishments and will often take credit for something that rightfully belongs to someone else. People with unhealthy pride have an exaggerated sense of importance and feel superior to others. This unhealthy form of pride can show up in which the individual is proud of being a bully, intimidating, and hurting others. Hence, this feeling of importance and superiority is also the reason behind their inability to accept criticism. The slightest criticism can spark up a defense riddled with anger and rage – this also explains why they are unlikely to apologize or admit that they are wrong.
People who exhibit unhealthy pride struggle with their self-confidence and self-worth. On the outside, they seem to be confident, self-assured people who have it together. On the inside, they are struggling to be accepted for who they are, not for how well they perform. We have all dealt with someone in our lives who has exhibited unhealthy or “false” pride. People with healthy pride not only believe in themselves, but they believe in others. They don’t mind giving compliments or praise to others when it is due to them. Unhealthy pride does not allow one to praise or compliment others because that takes away from them being in the spotlight.
People with healthy pride motivate and inspire others. They share the successes of others and rarely feel threatened or jealous of them. People with healthy pride often gravitate to successful people oppose to feeling envy or jealousy. Unlike people with unhealthy pride, they can authentically be proud of their friends, family, partners, etc. advancements.
Research studies show that unhealthy pride is the core of narcissistic personality disorder. I don’t believe that everyone who exhibits unhealthy pride is a narcissist. However, I do think that unhealthy pride should be treated by a mental health professional. If left unchecked, it could lead to narcissism.
For more information on the common traits of narcissism, check out these previous blogs below.
The Honest Aquarian 